From this Blogs page you can explore news items of interest and people’s different experiences integrating Synergy into their lives.

sex technique preparation

Karezza prioritises emotional intimacy over orgasm (VOGUE India)

At a time when the idea of consent and bodily autonomy is endlessly challenged, Karezza widens our jaded understanding of what truly constitutes ‘good’ sex “If you don’t orgasm, it’s not sex.” “You guys didn’t cum?” “But what happened after the kissing and cuddling?” These are some of the…


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Synergy Explorers Hart

What’s the ideal amount of movement during Synergy-style sex?

Experienced practitioner of sexual alchemy (a Synergy-style lovemaking practice) discusses the basics in this brief clip. Watch the full interview with Gene Hart. You may also enjoy his video entitled “How to Practice Sexual Alchemy / White Tantra / Karmamudra / Karezza Explained“.…


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Synergy Explorers couple kissing

What is karezza sex? Orgasm-free method releases love hormone to deepen couple’s bond (Daily Star UK)

Contrary to popular belief, orgasms are not a measure of successful sex. There’s an orgasm-free form of sex that’s just as pleasurable and sensual. Here’s what you need to know about the karezza method Many of us believe that orgasming is the best measure of good sex. But the…


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Catholic

Catholic hierarchy meets Synergy

Visitors who have spent time on this website, know that Synergy Explorers features traditional materials from cultures and religions around the world that promoted or hinted at Synergy-style lovemaking. One of the most intriguing examples of a modern Synergy movement arose among French and…


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Sexual relationships, empathy and porn

Early in 2022, a brilliant team of researchers from Israel and the USA reported that men with problematic porn use tend toward reduced empathy. (“Alterations in oxytocin and vasopressin in men with problematic pornography use: The role of empathy”) In addition, these guys suffer from increased…


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Synergy explorers reserved union

Why a handbook to explain Reserved Union to men?

For 20 years my wife and I have experimented with Reserved Union. I read many books on the subject of sex without the goal of conventional orgasm. Unfortunately, I never found any clear explanation of precisely how men who wish to postpone ejaculation indefinitely may do so. Eventually I mastered…


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Heart of chivalry

The heart of chivalry

“She makes me a better man,” explained a young geologist. His parent had asked why he hadn’t broken off his relationship after a quarrel with his girlfriend (and future wife). Did the same desire to become the best version of oneself lie at the heart of the chivalry tradition? For those with high…


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karezza sex

Here’s why karezza sex is going mainstream

According to HER magazine, “Karezza sex is nothing new – here’s why it’s going mainstream”: The goal is not orgasm, but rather closeness and connection with your partner. In the past few years, column inches of publications around the world have been dedicated to…


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How to Practice Sexual Alchemy / White Tantra / Karmamudra / Karezza

This hour-long video eloquently explains the logic behind the practise that we call “Synergy”. Weaving together insights from multiple observers and traditions the video’s creator clarifies some important distinctions. For example, he explains why partnered sex is more powerful…


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sword that was broken

“Seek for the sword that was broken”

Lord of the Rings fans may remember the above line from a prophetic poem that inspired the remaking of Narsil, a sword shattered in the depths of time. Reforged as Andúril, “Flame of the West”, the sword helped deliver Middle Earth. Where are the lovers who would explore Synergy-style…


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lonely no more

Single, lonely, seeking connection?

Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. Maybe you genuinely enjoy solitude. You’re not antisocial, friendless, or loveless – just content with alone time. In fact, you look forward to it. This is “being alone” not “being lonely.” On the other hand, maybe you are surrounded by family and…


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temptation

Heavenly temptation

The late novelist George Moore often portrayed clerical themes in Irish life – generally with a good deal of irony. In A Story-Teller’s Holiday, he entertains his readers with a medieval folktale about temptation in a lively nunnery. A very determined Mother Abbess, with a supporting cast of…


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Taoist

Taoist technique for managing sexual energy with a partner or solo

Are you struggling with demanding sexual urges? For thousands of years the Chinese Taoists have taught techniques for circulating sexual energy. Practitioners often master them as a solo practice. That way they become automatic when making love with a partner, where they are especially powerful.…


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sexual frequency

Why are sexual frequency and desire dropping?

Is it possible that we’re going about sex the wrong way? Finland was once the most sexually active country in the West. Yet sexual frequency and female sexual desire have dropped markedly, while the rate of women who have never orgasmed from intercourse has almost doubled. At the same time,…


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Chinese

The West’s debt to the Chinese

In Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China, Jung Chang recounts that her widowed grandmother married an older widowed Manchu doctor. “He subscribed to a theory that a man over the age of sixty-five should not ejaculate, so as to conserve his sperm, which was considered the essence of a man.” According…


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bonding behaviours

Stay with bonding behaviours and everything will be great

There is a saying my late wife used to repeat: “What you don’t learn from wisdom, you will surely learn from woe”. She’s been gone for nearly three years, and I have dated some lovely ladies a few times since then – even shared Karezza bonding intimacy with a few as well. Yet I am here to…


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practice

Do you know Karezza, the secret practice to spice up your intimate life?

Karezza is a sexual practice that makes the pleasure last by delaying orgasm. Lovers can strengthen their mutual trust through simple gestures. A method which is radically opposed to the frantic race for an orgasm, Karezza allows partners to prolong the pleasure of the sexual act while entering…


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three steps to heaven

Three Steps to Heaven

3 Steps to Heaven Do you remember the song: “3 Steps to Heaven” by Eddie Cochrane? It goes, “Step one: find a girl to love. Step two: she falls in love with you. Step three: you kiss and hold her tightly. Now that sure… seems like heaven… to me.” Well, if only it were that simple. Just around 20%…


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NoFap Gamechanger

NoFap Gamechanger Most Are Clueless About (Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow)

GoldJacketLuke shares the NoFap gamechanger insights he got from a book about the Synergy practice known as ‘karezza’.


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Catholicism

Karezza & Catholicism

I’ve recently been learning about how the Catholic Church has historically suppressed Karezza, viewing it as incompatible with their teachings about the procreative end of sex. I was a whole-heartedly devoted Catholic until fairly recently and, when Catholic, was particularly interested in…


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Synergy Explorers

Straight People Need Better Rules for Sex

By Christine Emba Ms. Emba is an opinion columnist at The Washington Post and the author of “Rethinking Sex: A Provocation,” from which this essay is adapted. If you talk to young people about sex, you may sense an unsettling malaise. Nearly half of American adults — and a majority of women — say…


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sexual appetite

The conundrum of sexual appetite

When they could control themselves, they would not, and When they would control themselves, they could not. This old couplet may have relevance for all appetites. But it seems especially pertinent in the case of sexual appetite because of its supremacy. As Richard Dawkins wrote, genes are…


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sacred sex

What is sacred sex?

No doubt everyone who uses the term sacred sex has their own definition. Mine is straightforward: Ongoing sexual exchange for the purpose of heightening the spiritual awareness of both partners Simply put, it’s a mutual spiritual practice in the context of a sexually intimate relationship. What…


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tantra

Cosmo teaches tantra

On 24 February 2022, Cosmopolitan magazine taught its readers “Everything You Need to Know if You’re Curious About Tantric Sex”. Attentive Cosmo readers have probably noted that in in every sex and relationship article, Cosmo's editors inevitably imply that orgasms are de rigueur – with or without…


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Nobody's having sex

And just like that, nobody’s having sex any more – but why?

By Arwa Mahdawi While there are a bunch of factors at play, from social media to a decrease in alcohol use, one hypothesis can be worrying (Not much) sex in the city And just like that, nobody’s having sex any more. Middle-aged people aren’t having much. Young people aren’t having much.…


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Cuddling

10 Cuddling Positions That Are Cozy AF

Why does cuddling feel so good? It’s science, baby: specifically, brain chemistry. When you hug or snuggle with a partner, your pituitary gland releases a chemical called oxytocin, which has been shown to reduce stress and promote bonding in relationships. (There’s a reason oxytocin has been…


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coitus reservatus

Vajrayana practitioner discusses the tradition as a gay man

In this lengthy talk, Dr. Ben Joffe dives into the theory, practice and scholarship of coitus reservatus as a Tantric religious discipline. Dr. Joffe translated a book on coitus reservatus by Tibetan Buddhist master Nida Chenagtsang. Its title is Karmamudra: The Yoga of Bliss: Sexuality in Tibetan…


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Reserved embrace

What if my family had known about Chanson’s “Reserved Embrace”?

At the end of 1949, Paul Chanson published a book called The Art of Loving and Marital Continence. He was a well-known French Catholic intellectual. The book sang the praises of “the reserved embrace” (Synergy). It sent shock waves throughout the French Catholic world of France and Belgium. The…


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Viagra

Viagra and the case for soft sex

In the 1980s, drug company propaganda convinced the scientific world that nitric oxide was no longer a toxic pollutant, but rather a health-promoting substance to launch their new erection drug Viagra. ~Mark Sloan in The Ultimate Guide to Methylene Blue Visitors to SynergyExplorers.org…


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sexual fantasy

Want to erase a recurring sexual fantasy?

When you feel sexually aroused or sexually frustrated does your mind too often jump to a habitual fantasy or fetish to push you over the edge to climax? You are not alone. This kind of neural link is extremely common. Even if you would never want to act out a fantasy in real life it can be…


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feeling

Women on r/FemaleDatingStrategy discuss the benefits of not pursuing orgasm

A November, 2021 thread on Reddit begins with this discussion on feelings: Start having sex where the man doesn’t orgasm Buckle up with me, ladies. I’ve disabled my DMs for this one. 😂 Women should start having sex wherein the man doesn’t orgasm for at least about 85%-90% of the encounters. My…


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sensate focus

Isn’t Synergy “unnatural”?

People sometimes declare Synergy “unnatural” because animals always ejaculate when they copulate…or do they? In fact, various primates don’t always ejaculate when they copulate. Moreover, this behaviour is more common than imagined. Male macaque monkeys, for example, ejaculate in roughly…


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post-coital

That post-coital feeling: we investigate the way women feel right after they’ve had sex (Stylist)

Excerpt: “There is what’s called ‘a drop’ after the chemical high of a sexual encounter.” For more on the science of post-coital distress in men and women explore Evidence of shifts after sex. Women tell to us about how they feel after sex, and we explore research to help us make…


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Feeling stuck

Feeling stuck? Try careful cultivation of your sexual energy for a few weeks.

Do you sense that you’re not realising your potential? Perhaps you have promising creative ideas and clear intentions but they hit exhausting snags. Maybe your inertia is so great that you’re not even billing clients. Or you're putting off filing your taxes. Perhaps you desire a relationship but…


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Magic Flute

Sex, Synergy & The Magic Flute

For Synergy explorers, it can be fun to see where in the cultural landscape representations of Synergy practices can be found. One of my favourites is Mozart’s opera “The Magic Flute”. Many people say it is full of masonic symbolism as Mozart was a member of that fraternity. Interestingly, many…


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intercourse

Synergy without intercourse?

Sounds like a contradiction in terms. Yet, what if you or your partner prefers to skip penetration in the moment for whatever reason? How do you tap the delicious benefits of intimate connection? If you’re a Synergy fan, you already know that the gifts of this practice don’t come from producing…


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sacred sex

Experiencing ‘sacred’ sex

My experience of sacred sex has been in the context of creating and maintaining a monogamous heterosexual couple. I am not in a good position to talk about other relationship arrangements. To find total satisfaction without orgasm, you just need to be accepting and patient. The core idea is to…


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sex

Why are depression and suicidality higher in adolescents who engage in sex?

Sex is good for people, right? Yet do we know enough about sex to educate adolescents for best results to avoid any subsequent post-coital depression? Consider this 2021 massive, 178,664-participant study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health on Korean…


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Semen retention

A husband discovers Synergy lovemaking spontaneously

This intriguing thread appeared on Reddit's Semen Retention thread not long ago. A husband in his early 40s, married for 20 years, noticed that when he ejaculates during sex he experiences "a massive come down for about a week." He explained that, "as I got in to my late 30s early 40s it takes a…


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Buddha and sexual desire

Buddha, Desire & Synergy

Not long ago, German scientists set out to test Buddha’s famous maxim: Craving and desire are the root of all suffering. (Testing Buddha: Is Acute Desire Associated with Lower Momentary Happiness?) The results agreed with Buddha’s teaching. Happiness was significantly greater in instances where…


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sacred sexuality

Living Sacred Sexuality

Sacred sex to me means that making love is more than just a mind and body experience. It also includes an element that makes us feel part of something larger, something sacred. In this blog I will sketch out some of my experiences using karezza, a form of sacred sexuality, to guide how I have…


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sexuality patriarchy

Female sexuality on the altar of the Patriarchy?

From sacrifice to sacrament The subject of Female sexuality and patriarchal religious dogma has been a source of exploration, in both philosophical debate and theological enquiry throughout the centuries. From the exhortations of Aquinas to the second Vatican council, questions to do with…


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menopause

Menopause, Intimacy & Tantra – Janet McGeever (podcast)

Is menopause interfering with your love life? You may want to try gentle tantra to renew your intimacy and nourish each other going forward. In this "Better Relationships" podcast, host Todd Zemek speaks with Janet McGeever. They discuss whether a non-performance-oriented approach to sex can help…


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penis size

Can karezza increase penis size?

Penis size! This may sound like a penis-enlargement commercial. However, some karezza lovers notice increases in length, and increased circumference is especially common. Curious as to why this should even be possible, I reviewed my knowledge of penis anatomy. The penis has three porous structures:…


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Tolkien sex

Tolkien on sex

Men are not [monogamous]. No good pretending. Men just ain’t, not by their animal nature. Monogamy (although it has long been fundamental to our inherited ideas) is for us men a piece of revealed ethic, according to faith and not the flesh. The essence of a fallen world is that the best cannot be…


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self-control improvement

Can Synergy help you keep your resolutions?

Wondering how you're going to keep your New Year's resolutions? Researchers widely acknowledge self-control as a key predictor of productive, happy, and healthy lives. Now, new research suggests why Synergy lovemaking might be a great way to improve your chances of keeping your resolutions. Is our…


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karezza method

The Karezza Method: 5 Reasons To Try This Spiritual Sexual Practice

by Kesiena Boom, MS When it comes to sex, we usually talk about orgasms as not only the indicator of successful sex—but as sex's ultimate goal. Enter the karezza method. The karezza method's origins. Karezza is a slow and sensual way of having sex that entirely removes climax from the…


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Reddit semen retention

A woman’s thread on Reddit’s SemenRetention sub

An interesting thread appeared on the Reddit Semenretention sub not long ago. A woman started it to report the benefits she and her partner were experiencing from cultivating their sexual energy.  In the lengthy community discussion that followed she and others shared their observations. While the…


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Bonding behaviours

The Rewards and Perils of Bonding Behaviours

Bonding behaviours are powerful cues that evolved in mammals because they increase survival rates. They keep parents and offspring attached until the latter mature enough to go their merry way. In a small minority of mammals – bonding behaviours (grooming, guarding, sharing resources) also promote…


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Touch

The importance of touch

Experts discuss the role of touch in the context of research results from 40,000 survey subjects from 100 countries. Read the article Listen to the podcast Touch is a critical element of mammalian attachment. For more see What are bonding behaviours?


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what love is

Animation about what love is

This sweet, soothing animation about 'what love is', is a reminder about the importance of simple affection between mates. How many of these caring attentions do you exchange with each other? You may also enjoy this FAQ on bonding behaviours, which explains the biological significance of these…


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Tantra

What is Tantra?

What is the difference between Tantra and everything else related to sacred sexuality / sexuality consciousness / Sex Magick / etc? There is a strong tendency to put them all in the same basket labelled "Tantra". The term Tantra (and here I will not speak of Tantric Buddhism, which is a whole…


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book for men

Explosive New Book For Men | SEX GUIDE (Semen Retention 2.0)

Here is a man discussing a new book for men by a Nick Brothermore. Nick experimented with karezza (Synergy-style) sex and finds it beneficial. The book addresses men specifically. The author touches on various challenges, including how to present the concept to a lover. Growing numbers of guys…


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puzzle of human existence

Solving the puzzle of human existence

Have you ever thought trying to solve the puzzle of human existence? What puzzle? I believe one of the great goals of life is to understand the puzzle of existence that is placed in front of each and every human being. To solve it, one should first be able to fully see reality from this…


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From celibacy to sex

After Six Years of Celibacy, My Reintroduction to Sex Was an Unusual One

I’d been alone and celibate for six years, by choice, before I decided I was ready to date again. I craved a deeper, more meaningful relationship with a man than I’d had in the past. So I signed up to an online dating site hoping I might find that person. After a few months of meeting people I…


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karezza

Karezza: Men Say Best Sex Comes Without Orgasm

(ABC News) By Susan Donaldson James Matt Cook hasn't had an orgasm in seven months, and he hopes never to intentionally have one again. The 51-year-old publisher from Virginia isn't celibate. Happily married for 25 years, Cook said his sex life is more exciting than ever. Giving up the…


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Synergy within marriage

Husband discusses Synergy approach to sex in his marriage

Listen now Click on image and go to minute 49:00 for a discussion of why Jason Lange practices "sexual mastery". Energetic and other benefits make it a useful skill.


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Clitoris

Scientific American – the Clitoris

This short video (8’21")  by Scientific American - the Clitoris, is a fascinating history of the clitoris. The clitoris is the organ responsible for sexual pleasure in women. If you don’t know about this vital organ, it is worth taking a few minutes to watch this video. The clitoris can be the…


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cancer

10+ lifetime sexual partners linked to heightened cancer risk

If you've been lagging behind in the sexual revolution, not to worry. It might reduce your likelihood of cancer. BMJ Press release. A history of 10 or more lifetime sexual partners links to a heightened risk of cancer. Research published online in the journal BMJ Sexual & Reproductive Health…


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needless

‘Needless’ sex?

Here’s an inspiring description of Synergy-style sex by a non-English native (male): A wonderful sexual experience with no end. Hours of continuation. And no need for orgasm. Always like a summit of plentitude. A state of ‘needlessness’. Needlessness, but enjoyment. … I was so full of radiance.…


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sore back

Sore back? Soft entry to the rescue!

Even if you are intrigued by the possibility of Synergy practices, a sore lower back can dampen your enthusiasm. Fitness issues are common amongst people of all ages. I am a woman of 61 and have been with my partner for almost nine years, practising Synergy all that time. Yet it wasn’t until I read…


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How does Karezza work

How Does Karezza Work? (Healthline)

Benefits Methods Considerations Bottom line What is Karezza? Karezza (pronounced ka-RET-za) is a type of gentle, affectionate sexual intercourse. The word “Karezza” comes from the Italian word “carezza,” meaning “caress.” The goal of Karezza, unlike most kinds of sexual intercourse, is not…


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How to Approach a Woman without sounding like a jerk

How to Approach a Woman Without Sounding Like a Jerk

So how do you approach a woman without sounding like a jerk? In my opinion, talking to a woman is easy. But I have seen a lot of guys make complete asses of themselves. As when guys approach a girl with stupid one-liners such as, “Hey I saw you from across the street and just had to come say hello…


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sex recession

Forty Per Cent of Aussies Aged 18-24 Haven’t Had Sex, With Tech & Social Media To Blame

Original article by Ally Burnie, January 23, 2020 Believe it or not, Australia’s youth are currently in the throes of a sex recession. In fact, data shows that teens are getting 50 per cent less sex than their parents. Forty per cent of Aussies aged 18 to 24 revealing they’ve never done the deed.…


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Coitus reservatus

Anti-climax (Aeon Magazine)

Original article by Peter von Ziegesar Coitus reservatus, also known as ejaculation control, is the age-old practice of a man withholding ejaculation during intercourse, either through training or willpower. In our orgasm-obsessed culture, such an idea might seem counterintuitive and even perverse.…


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Karezza and wellbeing

Karezza and wellbeing

Karezza is sex without the goal of female orgasm or male ejaculation. With karezza, lovers receive the benefits of sexual love without the feeling of lost energy. And without the temporary hormonal swings that naturally follow conventional orgasm-driven sex. So what is the link between karezza and…


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romantic

Is mutual sexual desire indispensable?

Reading an article about asexuality by Natasha McKeever, I was struck by the paragraphs describing how asexual people can have successful sexual and romantic relationships. For example: [Some asexuals] will engage in sex in particular contexts and for particular reasons, eg, to benefit a…


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rougher sex

Research: Less sex, but rougher

Young adults are having less sex than in recent decades. However, people who do have sex appear to be engaging in rougher sex than in previous decades. The study used a nationally representative sample. This especially applied to young adults. Particularly concerning are the high rates of choking.…


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sexual frustration

Easing sexual frustration together

Nature’s plan for easing sexual frustration seems to be urging lovers to “burn out” on hot sex (satiety). This can cause relationships to unravel. Worse yet, this generally happens to one partner sooner than the other, pushing lovers out of sync. It’s not unusual for the one whose enthusiasm for…


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Karezza in the bedroom

Using Karezza in the Bedroom

This video is an enthusiastic report of a man’s experiments using karezza in the bedroom after he has given up porn. He suggests this is the next stage of recovery for those using websites such as NoFap, for example. Having reduced their sexual activity after quitting masturbation to porn sites,…


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ready for love

Ready for Love?

In today’s fast-paced world of dating apps, reality TV and social media our expectations of finding “the one” at first sight can be somewhat unrealistic. We may kid ourselves that we’ll just ‘know’ when we see Mr/Ms Right. Or we may think that it’s so vital to see if we have physical chemistry that…


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semen leaks

Semen Leaks and Exercises

Giving up the goal of orgasm is a necessary skill in sacred sexuality. One has to value it and want to develop it. For some men it’s easy; others, not so easy. It’s important to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are two separate things. Thus it is wholly possible to ejaculate semen and not…


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postcoital symptoms

Study: Postcoital Symptoms in a Convenience Sample of Men and Women

Abstract Introduction Postcoital dysphoria (PCD) is a condition characterised by inexplicable feelings of tearfulness, sadness, and/or irritability. Previous research into postcoital symptoms has mostly focused on these 3 symptoms. It had failed to explore other symptoms that can occur after…


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natural birth control

Natural Birth Control

As a couple we practice karezza and also natural birth control (NBC). Sometimes people ask us questions. What is natural birth control? It is a form of birth control that aligns with the natural state of the female body. How does it work? NBC consists of two practices working in conjunction: 1) A…


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Karezza

How The Sex Technique ‘Karezza’ Could Revive Your Stale Relationship

Original article by Kelsey Borresen, Huffington Post Karezza (sometimes called coitus reservatus) is more about connecting than climaxing. Sex that doesn’t culminate in orgasm (for both partners, ideally) is often written off as crappy sex. But for those practicing the sex technique known as…


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semen retention

Everything You Need to Know About Semen Retention

Original article by Ann Pietrangelo, healthline.com What is semen retention? Semen retention is the practice of avoiding ejaculation. You can do this by abstaining from sexual activity altogether, of course. Or you can learn how to orgasm without ejaculating. Although it may sound like some wild…


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problem of depleted men

The Problem of Depleted Men

If you have ever had a smart phone with a weak battery, you’ve probably noticed how it cannot hold a charge very long. In using it, the backlight fades too quickly and the speaker quality is compromised. Truthfully, it is a pain in the butt. This is an analogue of the problem of depleted men. When…


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Cupid's Poisoned Arrow

Book review – Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow

Conor Ronayne, an open minded young Irish man, reviews Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow - From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships. The review is part of a series on semen retention available on his website, The Way Within. His reaction “It blew my mind,” he says. “The potential of this practice if it…


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potential boyfriend

10 Questions To Ask A Potential Boyfriend

You can have fun dating, especially when you know what kind of life you want to have with a special someone. There's nothing like discovering a new you while attracting 'the one'. Use our list of 10 questions to ask a potential boyfriend as a bridge to Karezza discussions. Do their answers reflect…


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sexual desire

Solo? Make the most of your sexual desire

Are you solo and finding sexual desire is distracting you and making frequent self-pleasuring a demanding necessity? You might try the following technique for a few weeks—just to see what you notice. Avoid orgasm for at least three weeks as you observe yourself. When you feel sexual frustration…


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gay karezza sex

Penny For Juan’s Thoughts: (gay) Karezza Sex

If you thought karezza was only for heterosexual couples, give a penny for Juan's thoughts on gay karezza sex in this interesting blog. Entire blog In this blog he laments how instant gratification and mediated communication are the foundations of society today. That we have to express ourselves in…


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What do I do with all this sexual energy

Solo (What do I do with all this sexual energy?)

Giving up the goal of orgasm is a necessary skill in sacred sexuality. But that doesn’t mean one has to give up pleasure and sexual fulfillment. It does require, however, a certain effort to “rewire” the brain so that a new kind of pleasure can be experienced. Going solo? If so, you might be asking…


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