How to overcome complacency in a long term relationship?

[MM]

A friend of mine told me that she had come across the work of Barry long https://synergyexplorers.org/traditions/1960-ce-2000-ce/making-love-sexual-love-the-divine-way-by-barry-long-1998/ and had introduced it to her husband of 20 years’ standing. Although they had some wonderful experience with it, and one particularly strong transcendental experience, after a while her husband became complacent and went back to his old ways of orgasmic sex. The marriage broke down. She has asked me how to overcome complacency in a relationship and keep the focus on sacred sex. Any suggestions?

[Lee]

I often wonder about this as well. Why does an intimate relationship grow stale? And how can one avoid that downward spiral? Why would one want to go back into peak orgasm once they’ve tasted the sweetness of full-body ecstatic bliss? It seems to me the secret is in constant bonding – investing time in closeness. For men, they must expand their definition of sex. I feel that for a woman, this is easier because sex is relational. Sexuality to her means more than just PIV (penis in vagina), it could mean holding hands, watching a movie together, sharing a piece of cheesecake, making breakfast together, sharing in a creative project. When a man can widen his idea about sex with a woman, he can avoid the complacency in the long run.

[Author]

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