Lord of the Rings fans may remember the above line from a prophetic poem that inspired the remaking of Narsil, a sword shattered in the depths of time. Reforged as Andúril, “Flame of the West”, the sword helped deliver Middle Earth.

Where are the lovers who would explore Synergy-style sex?

“Seek for the sword that was broken” might also serve as a motto for those looking for Synergy partners. In our orgasm-saturated, sexually debilitated culture, who better to experiment open-mindedly with controlled intercourse than a partner who has already learned the lessons of excess?

The number of such open-minded men, at least, may be greater than we think. For example, a population-wide study in Sweden based on 2017 data found that among the 25-34 age group more than one in ten men thought their porn use had been predominantly negative.

Indeed, it has been negative for many of them, whether or not they’ve made the connection between cause and effect. Consider these findings: Whether users viewed porn as positive or negative, 17+% of them reported lack of arousal when having partnered sex. Also, males using porn 3 or more times per week reported the following age-adjusted stats: 20.5% reported erection difficulties; 31.5% reported orgasm problems; and 27.5% reported lack of pleasure during partnered sex.

Ouch. Stats like these were unheard of only a generation ago. No wonder some men grow sceptical of the popular advice that there’s no such thing as too much sexual stimulation. Women jumped on the porn train later, but evidence of similar problems begins to mount. For example, in the same study 3.1% of women who use porn 3 or more times per week report vaginal dryness (age adjusted).

Quest for The Signal

Think the devitalised knights with broken swords might be open to trying something different? Especially an approach that promises nurturing intimacy, but does not place sexual performance demands on them?

The answer is a resounding…maybe. Most men don’t want to go near a partner unless they’re sure they have enough perkiness to play. This is especially true now that so many potential partners also watch porn. Men correctly surmise that many potential partners have absorbed unrealistic erection and performance expectations.

So, the question becomes how can potential partners who are ready to experiment with a non-goal driven approach signal their willingness to set aside conventional performance expectations? How can would-be Synergy ninjas indicate that they’re willing to explore a very relaxed, undemanding approach to intimacy?

Synergy explorers need a “code” for dating apps and early message exchanges that conveys a desire to explore togetherness without sexual performance demands. Would using terms like “Karezza”, “Synergy” or “Courtly love” do it? What about stating that you’re “Looking to explore a refined approach to lovemaking”?

Better yet, how about an emoji that signals an interest in such an approach? Non-performance driven partners could then find each other without having to engage in awkward explanations about uncertain erections or unfashionably tame expectations.

Tired of pixelated lovers?

Have you done the work, moved beyond porn, and are now wondering what to do with your newfound self-discipline? Become a Synergy ninja! Try real people and some ancient new ideas.

Perhaps it’s also time for honorifics and emojis indicating those who have graduated from today’s porn. One recovering user suggests “PPP” (Post-Porn Person). Or, what about “EPU” (Ex-Porn User)?

Today’s Post-Porn Persons have trained in sexual self-discipline. They’re perfect for Synergy-style lovemaking. These men are ready to reforge their swords (if reforging is still needed)!

With a non-driven approach to sex, men with arousal problems often begin to respond as impressively as their ancestors. And their female ex-porn counterparts report experiencing increasing pleasure from relaxed intimacy.

Help pick an iPhone Synergy emoji!

An epidemic of sluggish swords may not seem like a promising development for lovers. But for those who want to experiment with a less driven form of sex, it may prove a boon.

Potential partners first have to figure out how to signal each other. What creative possibilities do you think might work?

Lord of the Rings fans may also find this post interesting: Tolkien on sex.