Nature’s plan for easing sexual frustration seems to be urging lovers to “burn out” on hot sex (satiety). This can cause relationships to unravel. Worse yet, this generally happens to one partner sooner than the other, pushing lovers out of sync.
It’s not unusual for the one whose enthusiasm for hot sex has declined to avoid affectionate touch for fear it will lead to (undesired) sexual activity. This course of action isn’t ideal. It can leave the other lover hungrier and more frustrated than ever (and perhaps resentful or hurt). And if the partner whose libido is off tries to override it, their feelings of satiety (or even aversion) may deepen.
Daily Naked Snuggle
What to do? One solution is The Daily Naked Snuggle. This may seem counter-intuitive (i.e., likely to increase sexual frustration). But try it for a couple of weeks before evaluating its effectiveness.
Agree in advance that, whatever happens, you will both engage in at least 20 minutes of daily naked snuggling with some kind of soothing genital touch. The touch can be firm, but it should not be calculated to increase sexual arousal. For example, lovers can simply hold each other’s genitals, or find a relaxing position with genitals touching.
While relaxing in the stillness, you might visualise energy flowing back and forth between you, or picture yourself gazing at a lake or stream, or experiment with a breathing technique (here’s one). Avoid sexual fantasy.
This quiet togetherness can be very nourishing. Affectionate touch is healthy. When performed routinely it can actually reduce frustration while leaving you both feeling energised.
If you try it when needed, you’re likely to experience that sexual frustration can be eased without climax or even intercourse. Very liberating. Mind you, intercourse is great when you’re both feeling enthusiastic. However, mastering this practice gives you an easy option for intimacy when one of you is tired or feeling under the weather.
Affection that is not geared toward the goal of sexual arousal also strengthens your relationship. It’s a bonding behaviour, or signal, to a primitive part of your brains that you are with someone who is safe to get closer to. For best results bonding behaviours need to occur almost daily.
You may find that this practice is also effective foreplay for Synergy-style intercourse. It gives both lovers a chance to relax and attune to each other. Decide in advance, however, whether you will follow your naked snuggle with intercourse or whatever you both prefer. Avoid pressuring your partner in the moment.
The Daily Naked Snuggle may take some getting used to, but if you can learn to relax into it, it can effectively reduce frustration while you allow your libidos to come back into sync naturally. This way, phases of satiety are unlikely to engender baffling emotional distance or disharmony.