A friend of the site created this free audio course about karezza (a variation of Synergy-style sex). It’s a great way to introduce a lover to the concept. If you’re solo for now, use the “Enlightened sex” audio course to educate yourself for the future. And visit this page while you wait.

The course explains the wisdom behind a different approach to lovemaking. It also addresses many practical considerations. It is only 48 minutes long, plus 11 optional FAQs.

Sneaky biology

For example, did you know that satiety (exhausting your sexual desire) is biology’s strongest weapon to shift lovers’ perception of each other (and life in general) for the worse?

Imagine a couple 1 month into a new relationship who have seemingly optimal starting conditions. They communicate well, laugh together, and neither would be with anyone else if given the option. They are both highly attracted to each other and compatible in every way they can think of. They then have sex for the first time and both climax. As is normal for everyone, after orgasm they experience a drop-off in the magnetic attraction they feel for the other person.

After loveless sex, this drop-off is dramatic. Within a happy relationship, it is less dramatic but still marks a significant drop in how much you feel you need to be near the other person. One question worth asking when discussing karezza is this: Does this drop-off in attraction we experience after orgasm recharge fully? Science suggests not, and so goes the gradual loss in attraction couples tend to experience over time.

The difference may be imperceptible from one sexual experience to another, but suppose the attraction charges back up to 99.9% of what it was. If so, then after having sex 200 times with the same person, we may only find them 80% as attractive as we did the first time. After 500 times, we may only find them 50% as attractive as we did. The exact numbers aren’t important. The point is that successive orgasmic encounters with the same person tend to be less desirable over time. Novel potential partners look better and better. This is how our genes urge us toward producing genetically diverse offspring.

Karezza is a strategy to outsmart that programming. When we make love without orgasm, we don’t trigger our genetic programming with the signals of sexual completion with our partner that prompt the loss of interest and the desire to seek novel sexual opportunities.

As a bonus, when you consistently cultivate your sexual energy without that drop-off, your vim, vigour, productivity and ingenuity may amaze you.

Another nasty biological trick

Although perfectly natural and commonplace, orgasm differs in a very important respect from other natural functions such as sneezing. Orgasm’s intense stimulation excites the reward circuitry of your brain with a potent neurochemical “reward”.

As an aside, your brain also instantly wires up everything it associates with that reward, like where it happens, the circumstances, how you are feeling, and more — such that those associations may later trigger baffling feelings of arousal – even in non-sexual contexts. The more you climax to any particular scenario, the stronger the association. So steer for the associations you want tied to your sexual arousal in the future, even if they aren’t the novel ones you find the “hottest” now.

For more content that will help you protect your relationships, visit Thinkific.com to enroll for free. (SynergyExplorers.org does not use your personal information for any purpose but facilitating your enrollment.)

Note: The 2nd FAQ in the audio course touches on comfortable positions for this style of lovemaking. See illustrations below.

Images by Meg Frampton

If you prefer to read than listen, check out the free download from Synergy: The Book at the bottom of each page.