Giving up the goal of orgasm is a necessary skill in sacred sexuality. But that doesn’t mean one has to give up pleasure and sexual fulfillment. It does require, however, a certain effort to “rewire” the brain so that a new kind of pleasure can be experienced. Going solo? If so, you might be asking yourself, “What do I do with all this sexual energy?” See below for tips.
It takes time to get over “wanting” to have ordinary spasm-gasms in favour of the delightful energy exchange that sacred sex offers. The big leap starts right here. A man must want to stop ejaculating every time he has sex. And he has to give up masturbation.
In its place, he can cultivate a form of healthy self-pleasuring, which is the practice of allowing the genitals to swell and become aroused while remaining completely relaxed and free from sexual tension. This technique improves the genitals so that the urge to ejaculate is almost non-existent. The value of that technique (described in the post entitled “Semen Leaks”) is that it is a lifesaver when you find yourself alone and without a sexual partner.
Sexual energy is bio-electric
Sexual energy in a healthy man builds naturally. It also has a cyclical rhythm, and it is a kind of bio-electric energy. This energy needs a place to go, so that the entire body can remain in a state of equilibrium.
During a sexual exchange with a woman, there is a natural balancing of this energy for both, as long as the man does not deplete his energy every time he engages in intercourse. If you truly value your life-force energy you certainly don’t want to waste it with porn/masturbation/ejaculation.
So what is a man to do when the electrical build up is so strong he cannot relax?
Here is what I suggest: After a jelqing session, treat yourself to 20 or 30 minutes of tranquil self-pleasuring. During times when the sexual energy is particularly intense (I notice it at the full moon), you can do this once or twice a day if necessary. It is an effective way of recirculating your sexual energy away from the genital area in order to distribute it throughout the upper part of the body, namely, the heart, throat and head.
This method is best done in the morning, when the sexual energy is usually the strongest. Begin by warming the genitals with a damp warm cloth, then applying some kind of natural oil to the penis and groin area. Remain relaxed while massaging and stroking the penis until you achieve an erection. At this point, I suggest you lie down in bed, or relax on a nice comfortable chair.
Continue self-pleasuring, but do not allow your arousal to go beyond 6 or 7 (on a scale of 1 to 10). When you reach this point, massage your nipples, neck, stomach or the inside of your thighs, as well as the inside of your forearms. Touch and stimulate your body with gentle, caressing touch. Keep breathing in a relaxed manner, with occasional deep breaths.
Repeat this process, building the arousal, pulling back and massaging your body to spread the energy. Also, visualize the energy drawing away from your genitals into the upper regions of the body, such as the centre of the chest, the throat and the top of the head.
Remember, stay relaxed and resist the urge to ejaculate. Be in control and simply build and circulate – build and circulate.
After 20 minutes or so, just remain still and allow the energy to settle and disperse throughout your body.
This process is simple and doesn’t require a lot of effort or time. It is a healthy alternative for balancing your sexual energy when you don’t have a lover.