This intriguing thread appeared on Reddit’s Semen Retention thread not long ago. A husband in his early 40s, married for 20 years, noticed that when he ejaculates during sex he experiences “a massive come down for about a week.” He explained that, “as I got in to my late 30s early 40s it takes a lot longer to recover after release – with lack of motivation and just feeling flat.”
So, he experimented with lovemaking without ejaculation. At 121 days he published his self-report. It took him about 30 days to get past the blue-ball discomfort and switch off the need for release. After that,
I started to really get used to it and felt the benefits: Less anxiety, Focus on work, Energy like nothing else (running daily). Generally much happier and motivated, which my wife has said was noticeable! … When having sex while doing semen retention [i.e., sex without ejaculation] I feel alive like never before. Afterwards I am still full of desire and enthusiasm for my Wife! I think this helps to keep me doing this as it feels so good. I also haven’t lost any of the motivation and energy. I don’t know the Science behind this, might be just me.
Importance of communicating with spouse about semen retention
By explaining his reasons to his wife at the outset he enlisted his wife’s support. At first she found it strange knowing when to stop. But,
Sex has been amazing!! I don’t believe in celibacy or abstinence, for me I have always had a very overactive sex drive so we have found edging and none ejaculation sex have been a game changer, on a scale of 1 to 10 we take it to about 7 and my word the feeling is this best ever. I obviously have the desire to finish but my wife holds strong. The pay off is the feeling lasts for days after and I never lose desire for her, as I feel I am always at that high point.
For him, abstinence as a way to avoid the post-orgasmic letdown didn’t work and also left him flat. He adds,
This is not a magic pill but it’s undoubtedly made a fantastic change to my life and marriage. … I don’t think I could go back now. I have opened Pandora’s box! Has anyone else’s had a similar experience?
Yes, actually.
