One of the simplest and most effective breathing techniques for improving sexual self-control is the ancient practice sometimes called Kumbhaka (“breath retention”) from India. It’s wise to practice this technique outside the bedroom before you try it during sex.

Breath retention
  • Take up to 20 deeper breaths than normal, through your nose if possible.
  • Hold your breath at the top of your inhale, and hold it at the bottom of your exhale.
  • 3-second holds are sufficient.
  • If this is uncomfortable at first, simply breathe more deeply and slowly.

Start with just a few controlled breaths, and build up over time. This practice should feel soothing not forced. It subtly helps master desire.


If you want to add a visualisation, imagine drawing the energy up your spine to the crown of your head. Then, experiment with one of these next steps:

  • imagine sending the energy out of the top of your head as an energy gift to all of creation, or
  • imagine drawing the energy from the crown of your head down the front of yourself to your heart, and then sending it out from your heart to all of creation.