This method can help you lay a solid foundation for confident, non-goal oriented intercourse. You may also wish to employ a variation of it indefinitely – or whenever you’re too tired for intercourse.
Both those with sexual performance problems and those with extremely high sexual desire may find this meditation practice useful. Incidentally, it’s fairly common for one, or both, partners to feel extra needy, sexually, at some point during the first few months of transitioning to Synergy lovemaking.
If you’re trying this method because you keep derailing despite best intentions, use it exclusively for a couple of (orgasm-free) weeks.
Note: For space and convenience reasons this section is written from a heterosexual perspective, but with a bit of improvisation the concepts can be adapted by other genders and sexual orientations.
The “Eye of the Hurricane”
- Set aside at least 30 minutes. If you like music, choose something peaceful.
- Gather as many pillows as you are likely to need.
- Remove your clothing and slip into bed with your partner.
- Position yourselves in an ultra-comfortable position such as bridge or scissors (similar to “bridge” but with legs intertwined). Take your time settling in, using your extra pillows to get comfortable in a position where you can rest without moving (unless you are uncomfortable). You may be almost perpendicular to each other. Once settled, keep your genitals pressed gently together.
- Do not enter your partner, but it is fine to place the head of the penis at the entrance to the vagina. It doesn’t matter if you have an erection or not.
- Some affectionate touch is fine, but the goal is to relax together rather than perform.
- Next, imagine that you are floating together in the eye of a hurricane where all is calm and it is beyond your power to influence anything outside of the 360-degree barrier created by the storm.
- Notice any streaming sensations of pleasure. Don’t be concerned if you don’t sense anything (especially at first). You’re still benefitting from the intimacy of the practice.
- If you find yourself squirming, pushing, moaning, panting or fantasizing, relax and return to your “Eye” visualization.
- Remain in position until one of you calls a halt (preferably after at least 20 minutes).
- Either go to sleep, or rise and enjoy the rest of your day.
If for any reason “scissors” is uncomfortable for you or your partner, you may palm or hold each other’s genitals instead. Either practice can be a good way to start your day, or end it before falling asleep.