In Sex Perfection and Marital Happiness Freudian psychiatrist Rudolf Von Urban, MD tracks how he came to believe that orgasm is not essential to sex happiness. He thought that the exchange of bio-electricity is more important. Professionally, he counselled couples who were planning to divorce. Often he was able to help them save their marriages with his “six rules for human sex relations” which he set out (below).


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Von Urban’s Six Rules of Sex Perfection


A day chosen for making love should be filled with mutual kindness and affection. A period of love play with kissing and caressing should precede the sex act. Clitoral stimulation should be avoided. Woman who are used to clitoral orgasms should gradually, within a few weeks or months, be helped to refocus on vaginal stimulation.


The partners should adopt a position that allows them to remain fully relaxed during a long intercourse. Preferred is the Scissor Position: the woman lies on her back with knees drawn to the chest, while the male lies on his left side crosswise to her, so that his penis touches the entrance of the vagina. She now drops her legs and he places his right leg between her legs. With this, her left leg is between his legs while her right calf rests on his torso. Sides may be reversed. The man places the tip of the penis at the opened entrance of the vagina.

Now all kissing and caressing should cease and both lovers focus on the energy streams between their sexual organs. It does not matter if the penis is soft or erect. After half an hour and full exchange of sexual energy the penis usually becomes erect and may now enter provided that the vagina is naturally moist. The use of oil is discouraged as it slows the exchange of energy (but this should not be a problem with long connections), and condoms must be avoided – except possibly where there is great risk of ejaculation – because they block the exchange of bio-energy and lead to increased body tension. These recommendations are for couples in long-term relationships. For casual encounters use safe sex practices.


After the man has learned to control his ejaculation, the 30 minutes outside the vagina are no longer required. For a long connection of one to three hours the couple remains mainly motionless or with slow movements. If ejaculation occurs, the soft penis should remain inside until at least half an hour after entering. If unwanted pregnancy needs to be avoided then withdraw shortly for ejaculation, urination and washing, and then connect again the penis to the inner lips.


During the whole sex act from preparation to finish the couple should focus on each other and what they are doing, become aware of the sensations where they are touching and the energy flows within and between them.


It is essential to relax not only physically by choosing a suitable position, but also mentally and emotionally. Any kind of worry, guilt or preoccupation with work or family problems prevents relaxation and full exchange of bio-energy. Try to overcome such problems by dealing with them at other times, and use relaxation exercises and meditation to switch off when you want to. Another problem is that a woman may suppress her sex drive because of previous abuse or disappointment, and may resist subconsciously. This can usually be overcome with much tenderness, love and patience of her partner.


While this may depend mainly on the desire of the partners, von Urban observed that generally after a 30 minute intercourse with proper preparation couples are happy with a five day interval, after one hour intercourse with one-week, and after two hours with two-week intervals. He regards a sufficient interval as important to fully recharge the body batteries with bio-energy.

Urban, Rudolf von. 1949. Sex Perfection and Marital Happiness. New York: Dial Press.