Allowing the body to lubricate naturally is ideal, although lubricant use is not uncommon among Synergy lovers. Lubricants can reduce performance demands, overcome age-related dryness, and sidestep the risks of hot foreplay (an advantage where foreplay tends to overheat a partner).

Experiment until you find what works best for both of you. Be alert to the possibility of allergic reaction. (See accounts at the bottom of this page.) Sensitivities can shift over time.

Below are testimonials by actual lovers who experimented with different lubricants. Note: Please consult a medical professional before relying on any of the information shared below.

Walnut oil

Walnut oil is our friend. Soft entry with walnut oil is great because we are often very tired when we go to bed, and we can “plug in” without even a thought or worry about me having an erection or her being lubricated.

Cocoa butter

Wife and I have been using this for years with no probs. It doesn’t get sticky, lasts and lasts, smells and tastes like chocolate! It’s all natural, and after it melts (at body temperature) it is so slippery. Available in drugstores. It comes in a stick and is hard at room temp. Make sure you get 100% pure cocoa butter not ‘cocoa butter formula’ as the formula does not work for this. [If the cocoa butter is too solid, melt it, let it cool till creamy and mix it with a neutral liquid oil like sunflower. Make a small batch to test proportions.]

Coconut oil

We switched to this a few months ago and we both love it. It has an enjoyable scent, lasts a long time, and is great for sensitive tissue. We keep it in a glass bottle. We zap it in the microwave with the lid open for a few seconds to “melt” the coconut oil back to liquid form.

Aloe vera gel

Aloe vera gel works great. Get the 99% pure stuff. Besides being an excellent lubricant, it has great skin healing properties as well.

Neutrogena sesame oil

Light, mild scent and taste, non-irritating to most sensitive skin and tissues, and unlike most oils, does not taste or smell too strongly on your partner’s skin. Works well for general massage without sex as well as for a penetration lubricant.

Almond oil

Artificial lubes seem to create allergies or intolerance after a while. We use almond oil and a bit of spit. I put the oil in a little spray bottle and I can use it without messing up the sheets.

Grapeseed oil

We use grapeseed oil and it works perfectly: light and thin, absorbed through the skin.

Commercial lubricants

We were using Liquid Silk with no problems for quite a long time and then suddenly it started causing a burning sensation for me (silicone). Now we use a completely water-based lubrication.


Glycerin by itself sucks water out of the vaginal lining and isn’t good. With water, it’s fine. Too much water and it isn’t lubricating enough. But it isn’t really that tricky and I mix and apply before intercourse.

Olive oil

Olive oil was recommended to my wife by a therapist (she was having tightness issues). I didn’t care for it; for some reason it felt like there was tiny things in it that took away the feeling (like fine sandpaper).


The coconut oil, butter or MCT oil were each fine…until they weren’t (and adversely affected the skin on my penis temporarily). [Later] My penis finally healed. With a combination of treatments, not easy. So now we are using a concoction I made with progesterone, D3, vitamin A, which she puts in her vagina to help her lubrication hopefully. And I am back to using a small amount of olive oil on my penis. The solution is to carefully wipe my penis dry after intercourse, and use as little oil as needed. That seems to be fine and no problems at all.


My partner and I both were irritated by jojoba oil. It put us out of commission for a number of days. Now we just use all natural, unprocessed SPIT! It’s Paleo!


I had a similar experience where coconut and almond oils used to work, but then they became super irritating. KY jelly (the plain vanilla kind) has been comfortable for me.


My wife has always had a sensitive “kitty” so anything that upsets the natural conditions in the vagina can trigger yeast infections. Have to avoid anything with glycerin, parabens, silicone, anything aggressively hydroscopic (absorbs water), or anything that changes the PH balance. Even ejaculating inside her would reduce her natural acidity enough to often trigger yeast infections. (How’s that for a [Synergy] incentive?)

We spent years trying to find the perfect lube and have settled on pure unscented aloe as our primary go to. Aloe Cadabra is a commercial brand that has an unscented aloe product that works well for us that we know has no extra surprise ingredients. Very tempted to buy generic aloe in bulk to save $$$ but have not found source with documented purity.