vasocongestion, or blue ballsVasocongestion or “blue balls” (also sometimes called “lovers’ nuts”) usually signals that you have gone too close to orgasm in your Synergy lovemaking.  It can affect women too (the clitoris, labia and outer third of the vagina). Long-term, you can solve the problem by maintaining your arousal at a level that is less intense. This gets easier with experience, and learning to avoid fantasizing during sex.

If you find yourself getting close to the edge during intercourse, cool it down a bit. Stay in the middle zone. You may want to keep your lovemaking short at first, and extend it as you master the Synergy approach. Focus on taking full, deep breaths, especially as you become aroused. This helps keep you relaxed, and draws your attention away from thoughts of climax.

If you’re a man, stay active enough to keep your erection (if you wish) but not so much that you overheat. Some men report that if they keep their pelvic floor muscles relaxed (not clenching the muscle between anus and penis), the energy doesn’t seem to build up.

Men’s advice

If you have blue balls, you are unconsciously tightening your PC (pubococcygeal) muscle group. What you want to do instead is direct your focus to your perineal area and the area of your scrotum. Just direct your attention there and relax. When you are having intercourse continue directing your attention there. This will also open up a lot more pleasure, and reduce the chances of having blue balls afterwards.

Staying in deep and not getting too heated may help keep the pelvic floor muscles relaxed. The longer you go in a single session the easier it gets to stay fully relaxed. Said one man,

When I’m at maximum penetration I totally relax, send my sexual energy to my partner, and pause there. Sometimes only for a few seconds, sometimes for minutes. This may sound a little airy-fairy, but it seems siphon off the energy that can build up and lead to blue balls. You will get the hang of it. Practicing [Synergy] with a partner is one of the most deeply satisfying experiences I have in life. It’s well worth the learning curve.

What if it’s too late?

Even if you do nothing, the discomfort will eventually subside. However, you can usually relieve it quickly without resorting to the conventional method: ejaculation. These alternative suggestions come from Synergy explorers. Note: Please consult a medical professional before relying on any of the information shared on this page.

Cold water

Use the cold-water technique as soon as you get out of bed. Rinse down your entire crotch area, not just your genitals. A removable shower head is really good for this. Alternatively, kneel in the tub in front of the faucet and run cold water over your genitals.

If male, you can also lean over a sink and pour cold water over the penis and testicles for a minute or two.

Energy draw

If you have that full feeling in your genitals after lovemaking, sit on the edge of a chair with your back straight, take deep in breaths and pull the energy up the spine from your genitals. Five minutes should make a difference.


Use an icepack wrapped in a towel, and stick it under your scrotum [or over your labia] when lying down or sitting.

Warm water

Taking a warm bath and relaxing your genitals really helps alleviate any pain. Warm water improves circulation, which can reduce congestion.

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