Authors who have written about Synergy recommend various intervals between lovemaking sessions. Here, we outline a slightly different approach geared toward reducing sexual hunger and helping both partners remain loving.

Lovers often comment how pleasurable Synergy sex is, which can lead to wanting to have sex every day, especially at first. As long as both partners are equally enthusiastic all is well. However, over time, an expectation of daily intercourse can inadvertently create a sense of “entitlement” or “duty” that can ultimately undermine sexual harmony.

Intercourse can be effortful, and occasions will arise where one partner is too tired to enjoy it and may feel some resentment, or at least to feel as if daily sex has become a chore rather than a treat. Conversely, if that partner declines to have sex, the other partner may feel baffled, unloved, undernourished, etc.

Daily intimate contact helps. Choose from naked snuggling, sexual meditation, motionless genital connection, or gentle intercourse.

Is one of you feeling sexually needy? Try a first-thing-in-the-morning sexual meditation or Synergy session with virtually no movement. Incorporate more energetic sex on other occasions if you wish, but simply “plugging-in” (or merely pressing genitals together) helps both partners feel calmer and well cared for.

No matter how much you both love intercourse, life’s challenges dictate the need for some accommodation. The good news is that practicing daily intimacy and Synergy helps lovers want to accommodate each other. It’s a way to encourage partners’ sexual gears to mesh without a buildup of resentment.


Do you feel restless because mutual spontaneity isn’t leading to enough intercourse as you adjust to Synergy? One or both of you may feel uncharacteristically needy for a while after moving away from conventional sex with its built-in recovery period.

As explained above, it helps to engage in daily intimacy – even if you would prefer a different form of intimacy. Agreeing on an intercourse schedule will also help create harmony between you. You can more easily ignore passing feelings of sexual frustration if you know for sure that you will engage in intercourse at an agreed upon time.

Whatever schedule you set, keep your commitment! If life intervenes and you must reschedule, respect the revised commitment. Even when you must defer intercourse, remember your daily bonding behaviors.

Several weeks of trial and error were required before we got as far as negotiating a regular schedule for intercourse. That’s when things really started to anchor for us. And the reason for this, I believe, is it creates intentionality. Scheduled intercourse means that both of you are aligned and committed to the process. Powerful.

Experiment. What works for you and your partner?

We’ve moved to scheduling [Synergy] intercourse every 3 days, but engage in bonding behaviors daily. Scheduled intercourse is a relief for my wife. Now, she realizes that my physical touch is not a veiled request for sex. So, she seems more open to spontaneous, intermittent hugs and the like.

Try allowing at least one day between intercourse encounters so you remind your nervous systems how delicious bonding behaviors and effortless intimacy can be even without intercourse. That way, you will have mastered easy, nurturing ways of being intimate even when one of you does not feel up to more athletic intercourse. Also, with a break between intercourse encounters, intercourse tends to remain a treat rather than becoming a chore or resentment-building entitlement.