There is a saying my late wife used to repeat: “What you don’t learn from wisdom, you will surely learn from woe”. She’s been gone for nearly three years, and I have dated some lovely ladies a few times since then – even shared Karezza bonding intimacy with a few as well. Yet I am here to report – first hand – my wife was right!!!  In this context, stay with bonding behaviours and everything will be right.

Don’t ever use your karezza skills to find nurturing from a woman on a casual-sex basis – especially one who has had unfulfilling sexual partners in her past. It will most likely backfire. The temptation and allure to “pleasure” a new woman with the filled up masculine traits of slow sex, bonding behaviours, being present and attentive without getting heated up, will lead to peak orgasm – either for the woman or the man.

And it is not worth it!

The relationship will fall apart. It will crash and it’s not pretty. I would have never believed this was so profoundly true. I honestly thought that a gentle clitoral or G-spot stimulating orgasm at the beginning of a relationship would be relatively harmless – BUT TRUST ME – IT WILL LEAD TO DISASTER.

You’re not helping a woman by encouraging her to get off!!!!

Bonding Behaviours

It is incredibly more satisfying and nurturing to stay with gentle bonding behaviour – holding the woman affectionately. There are so many fulfilling delights to be experienced in this simple approach: caressing; eye gazing; massage; soft kissing; holding hands; brushing her hair; even bathing together.

But be warned. If you think you’re doing the woman a favour by heating her up during a casual connection – you’ll find out – after a few days (or less as in my case) the demoness will emerge.

I had a wonderful long-distance girlfriend for a few weeks a couple of years ago. We got along great. But she seemed frustrated at not having had an orgasm for many years – so she began to “push” a little. And I didn’t see the harm in helping her to climax. Sure enough, within a couple of days, there was a kind of pulling away – an emotional disconnection between us. She seemed less receptive to me – a little touchier and more sensitive. There was suddenly a bit of possessiveness, mixed in with moody jealousy. It really is a strange cocktail that goes on in the brain post-orgasm. And men are no better.

Because I am skilled at avoiding the spasm in myself – still there are times when a little bit of non-orgasm fluid may leak out. I think of it as sort of a reflex. This doesn’t throw me into a fall out, as least not one I notice. It is generally when a person intentionally seeks out the orgasm spasm that the potential “fall out” is more severe. That’s my experience. Of course, everyone is different.

The next girlfriend

Moving ahead, the next girlfriend; same thing again happened. After the orgasm-cycle of distress, I decided to return to non-orgasm, non-intercourse affection and cuddling with her. Things were absolutely fantastic between us. We’d share occasional sleep overs – with clothes on – and there was a sweet energy between us each time. Our relationship / friendship was very satisfying and harmonious. Strangely enough, perhaps because we started out on the wrong foot, she still became possessive, needy and jealous when I attended an event with another woman. We parted ways.

After that, I spent almost two years adhering to conscious celibacy. I continued to practice solo energy cultivation, de-armouring, as well as sublimating the sexual energy in my body. I did not practice masturbation, nor engage in porn or fantasy. And I allowed the natural sexual energy to fill my body and worked with the energy within myself.

During this time, I enjoyed conversation with several lady friends – mostly through voice messaging, or on the phone. This was a wonderful time of getting to know women without actually dating. As the months went on, there was one particular woman that I felt very attracted to. We had actually met the year before and spent time dating (no sex). A year later, after many, many hours of sharing and conversation, we decided to meet up for an intimate weekend.


I don’t need to detail it here. You can imagine what happened. We engaged in bonding behaviours, but soon dove into intercourse. She climaxed, and our relationship didn’t last 4 more days. She wasn’t able to communicate with me without resorting to vicious accusations, anger, even penis insults. It was one of the worse experiences of my entire life.

So here I am, sharing this personal story with you, the reader. My wife whispers to me from the other side. Gently she reminds me, “Honey, what you don’t learn from wisdom, you will learn from woe.”