Solo? Make the most of your sexual desire

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Solo? Make the most of your sexual desire

Are you solo and finding sexual desire is distracting you and making frequent self-pleasuring a demanding necessity? You might try the following technique for a few weeks—just to see what you notice.

Avoid orgasm for at least three weeks as you observe yourself. When you feel sexual frustration building, close your eyes, tighten the muscles in your genitals. Imagine the sexual feelings, or tension, rising up your spine like a thermometer to the top of your head. Feel tingles? Whether or not you do, imagine a waterfall of energy flowing down the front of yourself. Allow it to pool just below your navel. Do this as often as necessary to relieve your sexual tension. Next, turn your attention to something productive.

This method of cultivating sexual energy has been around for many centuries. It works for both men and women.

I can honestly say that my physical and emotional health are much better than when I was masturbating frequently, and I still have a healthy sex drive, as far as I can tell! But I learned that I could not just stop masturbating, yet continue doing everything else the way I did before I stopped, such as isolating myself, or zoning out with TV. I had to use the energy toward a larger goal. In my case I went back to school and eventually discovered a field I really like.

Research

Some women believe that self-pleasuring will make them more orgasmic during partnered sex. However, a Finnish researcher writing about sexual desire noted that,

There has been a continuous declining trend regarding the age of first orgasm in masturbation, but not regarding the age of the first orgasm in intercourse. Nowadays, half of women have had their first orgasm in masturbation at least 5 years prior their first orgasm in intercourse. They have had more time to practice their sexual pleasure via masturbation before their first intercourse, but that has not helped them to achieve an orgasm any younger during intercourse. This result diverges from expectations. …

Those women who had orgasms much more easily via masturbation had problems to experience it in intercourse. The ease of attaining an orgasm via masturbation was not a good measure of orgasmic capacity during intercourse. Half of the women surveyed usually had an orgasm in intercourse via stimulating both clitoris and vagina, and only one-third usually via stimulating clitoris. Based on these results, the role of the clitoris is not as dominant in sexual stimulation towards orgasm in intercourse as has been expected.

Also see Energy circulation exercises.