Contrary to popular belief, orgasms are not a measure of successful sex. There’s an orgasm-free form of sex that’s just as pleasurable and sensual. Here’s what you need to know about the karezza method
Many of us believe that orgasming is the best measure of good sex. But the karezza method proves that sex can be great without orgasms.
Karezza sex, which removes climaxing from sexual intercourse completely, is meant to make couples “feel more present in the moment” to heighten the emotional connection and affection between partners.
The slow and sensual method of sex is thought to have some spiritual roots but became popular in the 1902 book Karezza: The Ethics of Marriage, written by ob/gyn Alice Bunker Stockham.
Here’s everything you need to know about karezza sex and how to achieve orgasm-free sex with your partner.
What is karezza sex?
Karezza is a slow and sensual way of having sex, which teaches couples to deepen their sexual and emotional connection without orgasms.
The word “karezza” (ka-RET-za) comes from the Italian word “carezza”, which means “caress”.
This sex technique prioritises touch and intimacy over orgasms. The goal of karezza sex is not climaxing, but reaching a relaxed state while having sex.
The act involves lots of slow movements like deep breaths, fondling, gazing, stroking, skin-to-skin contact and intentionally delaying orgasms.
All of this trigger the release of oxytocin, a bonding hormone, which improves intimacy, closeness and communication between couples.
How to perform karezza sex
There is no set method to perform Karezza sex. What’s most important is quiet and relaxation with lots of communication, rather than passion that usually drives sex.
Begin with caressing and verbal declarations of love and affection or affirmations of beauty.
Slowly, the touching will move into intercourse, with the most common positions being lying side by side or on top of one another
In karezza sex, penetration should be slow and deliberate to avoid orgasming.
Some bonding behaviours you can try to make karezza sex even better are:
- making eye contact and smiling
- skin-to-skin contact
- synchronise your breathing with your partner’s
- gently cradling or rocking your partner’s head or torso
- holding, spooning or hugging them
- massaging their feet, shoulders or head or stroking them
- lie with one ear over your partner’s heart
- kiss your partner with tongue
- suck or touch their breasts or nipples
- gently place your hands over their genitals.
All of these actions before, during and after intercourse is meant to be slow and relaxed.
As it’s not centred around lust and passion, karezza sex may be better suited for couples in long-term relationships who want feel even more intimate with each other.
