In Alchemy of Love: Sexuality & the Spiritual Life (2020), essay contributor Frithjof Schuon discusses sex in terms of “divine madness” and links sexual ecstasy with spiritual ecstasy:
In primordial man, sexual ecstasy coincides with spiritual ecstasy, it transmits to man an experience of mystical union, a ‘remembrance’ of the divine Love of which human love is a distant reflection.
Schuon treats love as a form of divine madness in the Platonic sense, where sexual love becomes a doorway to remembering divine love. Yet it is evident that not all sexual ecstasy is spiritual ecstasy.
Orgasm may feel ecstatic in the moment, but because it is but the peak of a longer experience, that high is often followed by perception-dimming lows, which are anything but ecstatic.
Also, readers can easily confound the term “madness” with crazed, impulsive behaviour. A more accurate term for the state of “divine madness” possible during spiritual union may be “other worldly.”
Perception extends beyond the usual limited human perception. It’s as if the rules radically shift revealing a larger Reality behind everyday experience. It can be difficult to describe, and stabilise, such expanded perception, which can make the experience seem (and sound) a bit “mad.” Sharing such an experience with a partner helps stabilise it.
How to distinguish?
Both types of union arise from the same longing: the yearning of yin and yang to experience together the living current of the universal life force. So, how are lovers to discern the difference between spiritual ecstasy and mere sexual gratification?
Here’s a table that compares various aspects of the two experiences:
| Dimension | Sexual Union | Spiritual Union |
| Trigger | Bodily arousal, sexual contact or fantasies | Desire to love and become one with one’s lover and All That Is |
| Focus of attention | Genital sensation, arousing aspects of partner | Reality beyond (and encompassing) the physical, and a marked flow of unconditional love |
| Duration | Very brief, peaks quickly and fades | Can be brief, but often more sustained or recurring |
| Nature of experience | Overwhelming euphoria, peak pleasure, orgasm | Experience of merging, of ego melting, of awakening a third entity encompassing both lovers (divine androgyne) |
| Self-boundaries | Intensified identification with the body and its search for physical gratification | Diminished experience of separate self, joyful sense of being part of All That Is |
| Aftereffects | Temporary, often followed by let down, or even dysphoria | Lasting sense of calm, clarity, meaning, compassion, selflessness |
| Dependency on conditions | Requires physical stimulation in a sexual context. Performance, erections, and foreplay are important | Arises from open-hearted, selfless desire to merge, genital participation and sexual performance unnecessary |
| Danger of confusion | Easy to mistake orgasm for spiritual union if emotions are confused | Intense gratitude, genuine sense of divine presence and desire to align with it |
Characteristics
The experience of ecstasy during sexual union generally involves intense arousal and physical effort. It’s driven by cravings and impulses and movement.
In contrast, the experience of ecstasy during spiritual union is not performance-driven. It’s a peaceful exchange, during which lovers can allow their attention to move beyond the physical. In stillness, with open hearts, they can experience the wholeness of the divine and recognise themselves as a united part of All That Is.
Ecstatic spiritual union has nothing to do with so-called “sex magick”. The latter, a form of sexual union, calls for pumping up sexual arousal to reach an altered state not unlike a drug-high, in search of a more powerful climax. Practitioners strive to amass erotic energy for their chosen, ego-driven ends, not to align more closely with divine will. Karmic repercussions follow.
The ancient Hua Hu Ching summarises the difference between the two types of union this way:
Because every portion of the body, mind, and spirit yearns for the integration of yin and yang, angelic intercourse is led by the spirit rather than the sexual organs. Where ordinary intercourse is effortful, angelic cultivation is calm, relaxed, quiet, and natural. Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body. Culminating not in separation but in union (i.e., not in dissolution but in integration), it is an opportunity for a man and woman to mutually transform and uplift each other into the realm of bliss and wholeness.
Preparation
The best preparation is a meditation practice. It teaches stillness and the ability to keep one’s thoughts in the present, to be rather than to do. Pacifying stress allows us to escape the spinning hamster wheel of our minds and relax into stillness. This mindset makes it easier to intuit and align with divine will.
If you’re lucky enough to have a partner, why not try a sexual meditation with genital contact?
In any case, set your intention to the column of your choice before you make love the next time. The results may delight you.
