Early in 2022, a brilliant team of researchers from Israel and the USA reported that men with problematic porn use tend toward reduced empathy. (“Alterations in oxytocin and vasopressin in men with problematic pornography use: The role of empathy”) In addition, these guys suffer from increased psychiatric symptoms.
Intriguingly, their levels of two key hormones differed from healthy controls: oxytocin and vasopressin. Both play roles in pair bonding. Oxytocin at ideal levels induces a sense of calm and safety. It supports a person’s tendency to form a lasting relationship to help buffer life’s inevitable stress. In contrast, vasopressin is associated with uneasiness, vigilance and defensive aggression.
To oversimplify, oxytocin promotes pairing up, while vasopressin facilitates mate-guarding. Yet if vasopressin dominates, it can thwart pair bonding altogether. Without conscious awareness, a vasopressin-dominant man may perceive lasting intimacy as something to guard against rather than something worth guarding.
Not surprisingly, among the study participants with porn problems the hormonal balance swung toward vasopressin. The researchers hypothesised that the men’s tendency toward dominant vasopressin tilted their systems toward negative reactivity, vigilance, and fear in the formation of lasting bonds.
No wonder porn may have reduced empathy in this group, making porn seem like a safer haven than relationships.
Why does empathy matter?
Decreased empathic tendencies (as found in men with problematic porn use), reflect poorer inclination to understand others’ emotions and mental states. Thus, problematic porn use can promote objectification and impersonal partnered sex in both men and women.
For example, when researchers looked at data from 13 countries and 45,000 participants, they found that,
Pornography consumption was associated with an impersonal approach to sex among both men and women; among both adolescents and adults; and across countries, time, and methods. Mediation results were consistent with the sexual script theory hypothesis that viewing pornography leads to more impersonal sexual attitudes, which in turn increase the likelihood of engaging in impersonal sexual behavior. Confounding analysis did not support the libertarian theory of pornography’s hypothesis that the only reason why pornography consumption correlates with impersonal sexual behavior is because people who are already impersonal in their approach to sex are more likely to consume pornography and engage in impersonal sexual acts.
One ex-porn user wondered if his earlier tumble into problematic porn use (and reduced empathy?) accounted for his pattern of watching increasingly abusive material. As he recovered from his problematic porn use, his desire to watch “f—ked up sh-t” evaporated. Disturbingly, both reduced empathy and excessive porn use contribute to hostile masculinity. In turn, hostile masculinity and impersonal sex predict increased rates of sexual violence.
Cracks appearing
In light of the finding of reduced empathy in those who engage in excessive porn use, it’s concerning that porn consumption has become universal among young men (and is rapidly increasing in young women). Ubiquitous porn use does not bode well for intimate relationships.
Already, rates of sexual activity are dropping in younger generations. For more on how artificial sex aids are competing with human relationships visit this page.
In any case, intimate relationships benefit us most when we care for the welfare of each other as much as we do our individual welfare. Obviously, it will be difficult for men struggling with problematic porn use to care for another’s welfare when they’re feeling inordinately uneasy and defensive themselves.
Reversing engines
Returning to the new study, the researchers suggest that if problematic porn use contributes to vasopressin imbalance, interventions might be possible to help the men restore their balance, regain healthy levels of empathy, and shift their priorities.
Might the practice of Synergy constitute such an intervention? It’s a stretch of course. Yet traditionally, this gentler, non-driven approach to sex has been touted as a path to unconditional love. Combined with eliminating porn use, it may just help jumpstart men currently caught in a stagnant pattern of defensiveness and internet isolation.
