There is something exquisitely naughty about have some rumpy pumpy in the afternoon. It reminds me when, as a teenager, I’d occasionally bunk off of school towards the end of the day to go into town with a friend for a lark about. There’s nothing quite like some afternoon delight to warm up the mood on an otherwise dutiful day.

Despite being consistent karezza lovers for the past 11 years, my husband and I found our lovemaking had dwindled to once a week. It was usually on a Sunday morning albeit for a good hour at least. This was to make up for the busyness during the week when we didn’t take time to slow down. Breaking the nexus on those long Sunday sessions could be challenging. I tend to be restless in the morning, keen to get up and get on with the day, whereas my sweetheart prefers a more leisurely start to the morn and is often much more awake in the evening when I start to fade. A lark and an owl.

From habit to harmony

I decided we needed to break this habit, which wasn’t producing the best of results. I was feeling slightly guilty that I wasn’t more available for sex when it seemed my husband needed more physical connection than just hugs and kisses.

Having spoken to a friend who has been a karezza practitioner for many years, I discovered she had a different approach: making love every second day, mid-afternoon, for around 20-30 minutes. I was a bit alarmed at the thought of having to make so much time available, but quickly realised how beneficial it was.

The schedule

We started the following Monday afternoon on a new adventure as dedicated synergy explorers. It was interesting that the 25 minutes, measured by an alarm clock, felt long enough to really reconnect. We looked lovingly and lazily into each others’ eyes, caressed, connected at the business end and let the hassles of the day melt away. It was sublime.

We repeated this again on the Wednesday as it is advisable to have a day off between sessions. That allows our dopamine levels to rebalance so that the desire to keep going doesn’t take over. I was amazed at how refreshed I felt and how much I desired more closeness with my husband despite the fact we are together most of the time. Even though he rubs my feet at night as we watch some television or read, it doesn’t seem to be the same as that wonderful intimacy of the bedroom and the naked snuggle.

However by the Friday, some unexpected news got us off schedule and it was a few days before we started in earnest again on the every second day to practise karezza. Again, it felt so lovely to relax into each other arms and melt. Yes afternoon delight is quite uniquely special.

Moving ahead…

My organised husband now prioritises our lovemaking sessions by putting times in our diary to make sure we are nurturing each other deeply and on a regular basis. Regular lovemaking, fuelling each other with loving energy at a subtle level, builds resilience to help us face any stressors or setbacks that life inevitably throws at us. It is as much of a priority as exercise, deep sleep, and healthy eating.

As a result of this reorganisation of time, I am working more productively and creatively. I know that if anything gets in the way, a fresh snuggle will remind us of the benefits of that loving intimacy that seems all the better as an afternoon delight. In case you have forgotten how delicious it can be, try some bonding behaviours to refresh your memory and bond.