An orgasm is often seen as the golden ticket when it comes to ‘good sex’, but there’s one way you can get saucy with your partner in the bedroom — without the pressure of reaching the big O.
This is where the Karezza Method comes in (pardon the pun).
If you’re looking to nurture and deepen your sexual and emotional connection with your partner, you’ll want to adopt this approach in the bedroom.
In short, the Karezza Method involves lots of massaging, caressing and physical intimacy – touching your partner how they want to be touched – and engaging all your senses for a ‘complete’ experience.
Karezza comes from the Italian word ‘carezza’, which means ‘caress’. Beautiful.
And Alice Child, sexologist at sexual wellness platform SheSpot, is here to tell Metro.co.uk why it can be so beneficial between the sheets.
‘Changing up sexual scripts that are habitual, predictable and orgasm centred helps couples stay more present and connected, as well as increasing sensitivity and arousal,’ Alice explains.
The Karezza Method
can be a very sensual way of connecting with your partner
‘The karezza method is all about removing the goal of orgasm. It focuses on savouring the journey – not some predetermined “destination”.’
Now this certainly isn’t to say orgasms aren’t important. After all, the orgasm gap is a big issue for women — 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during sex, compared to just 65% of heterosexual women.
You can think of the Karezza Method as a supplement to your orgasm-filled sex life — not a replacement.
Alice says: ‘The biggest sexual habit is fixating on orgasm – whether it will happen, happen too quickly or too slowly or not at all. This prevents people from being able to stay in the moment and focus on enjoying the current sensations and experiences.’
She adds: ‘Many people struggle to stay in the moment during sex due to a busy mind. Focusing on the five senses and what the body can feel, smell, taste, touch and hear helps people stay present and in the lived experience.
‘When we think less we can feel more. As a result activities such as sensation play heighten sensitivity and lead to powerful orgasmic experiences while maintaining a feeling of deep connection.’
A great way to put the Karezza Method to the test is to practice sexual mindfulness.
‘Slowing down and noticing where your mind is, and mindfully bringing it back to things like your touch, breathing, movements and the five senses can really help you feel grounded and connected to your partner,’ says Alice.
This isn’t to say that you can’t orgasm when practicing the Karezza Method. Climax can certainly still find you.
Alice explains: ‘Removing the goal of orgasm removes pressure from both people, and instead allows you to be curious about new possibilities.
‘After all, orgasmic experiences can come from all over the body. The whole body is an erogenous zone if only we slow down and pay attention!’
Erogenous zones you may not know of include the perineum (between the anus and vagina or anus and scrotum), your bellybutton, your neck, lower back, ears, hands and fingertips and inner thigh.
More niche ones include the scalp, behind the knee, ankles, armpits and the inner wrist.
Stimulate as many as you can with your hands, mouth and body to give yourself and your partner the ultimate sexual experience. You can add penetration or clitoral and penile stimulation into the mix too, if you decide to finish it off with an orgasm after all.
At the end of the day it’s all about maximum pleasure.
The Karezza Method could increase your connection and take the pressure off
