The famous yin-yang icon symbolises the living current of creation perpetually circulating between two poles. As R.L. Wing put it in the I Ching Workbook:

Together, yin and yang represent the dynamic interaction that creates all of reality. The ancient Chinese say about this: “From the Creative (yang) and the Receptive (yin) emerge the ten thousand things.

But what are those two poles? Yang attributes are typically described with adjectives such as active, male, light, heat, hard and dry. Reflexively, adjectives like passive, female, receptive, dark, cold, soft and wet become yin attributes.

Both sets of descriptors leave a lot to be desired. Yin and yang are not so lifeless or mechanical. Together they produce living current, an example of which flows through our electrical appliances. If yang is an out-flowing force yin is a magnetic force. Without magnetism, current can’t flow. It cannot be otherwise.

Equal and synergistic

The two forces are equally powerful. In fact, in the hands of a Taoist master, yin magnetism performs remarkable feats. It can absorb the force of a bullet fired directly into someone, leaving the master unscathed. Don’t try this at home, but see The Magus of Java for more. As a result of the author’s study with a Taoist master, he urged physicists to study the potential in yin magnetism.

Intriguingly, physicists now say there may indeed be another force in our universe. Their subatomic measurements and predictions consistently don’t line up. According to scientists, this could be evidence of a fifth force – or something else strange and beyond the standard model. In this regard another fundamental force known as dark matter – a strange and mysterious substance thought to make up about 27% of the universe – has yet to be explained and its effects fully understood. Hmmm…

Restoring balance

Think of yin as a receptive, balancing, absorbing, healing energy, little appreciated as yet. Might it ultimately furnish a key to bringing balance to the world’s overheated yang sexuality?

Yin energy in the form of sexuality (when relaxed and not goal-driven) inherently has a unique, magnetic character. It is not a mirror of yang sexuality, but rather its ideal, soothing complement. When yin’s receptive magnetism and yang’s outgoing enthusiasm combine in balance, the result is an energy-giving, deeply satisfying union. Just as two electrical poles can create light – or merely a short circuit and wild sparks – so, too, can sexual union.

Despite claims on any number of “divine feminine” websites, yin is an inner receptive quality that has nothing to do with a capacity for multiple or cosmic orgasms. Indeed, one cannot tap yin’s gifts by striving for performance of any type. It does not row; it flows. It is inexhaustible, and profoundly nourishing.

Safety first

Ideally, yin inspires and nurtures selflessly. But it must be cherished and protected by yang so that it can sustain those functions. If it is exploited, or simply used for physical gratification, the nourishing, enlivening current sputters or halts. Both lovers swiftly feel unfulfilled – with or without climax.

Allowing yin sexuality to open and trust in a safe connection has not been a goal in recent decades. Instead yin lovers have found themselves mirroring unbalanced yang sexuality, forcing orgasms, and using others selfishly.

In a healthier world, yin lovers would use their yin magnetism with integrity in the bedroom. Yang sexual energy is also a force to treasure, transmute, and return in an enhanced state via an exchange with yin energy. Yang energy is not something to be fanned into a dazzling display that rapidly burns itself out – leaving lovers with a subconscious sense of depletion and a need to recover…or find another high.


If you are yin, and you have a partner who is protective, can you open to allow your yang lover to help you while you remain conscious and proud of your profoundly different gifts for your yang lover? Are you generous with your admiring yin receptiveness and appreciation? It is as delicious to yang as its sunny yang energy is to you. No need to feign helplessness or be manipulative. Genuine appreciation for yang assistance, or for its shiny presence in your life, creates a satisfying exchange in itself.

As long as your yang lover is not behaving utterly selfishly, trust the flow and do your best to anticipate your yang lover’s needs. Willingly do more than your share of some tasks. Difficult as it may be, don’t keep score. If you need reminding of some of yin’s most inspiring qualities listen to this short clip by a psychologist.

Keep in mind that your yang lover’s gifts to you will not necessarily return to you in the form you give yours. Chances are they will return in some more valuable (to you) way. Perhaps in the form of sound advice in an area where you are not as knowledgeable. Or perhaps in the form of encouragement to undertake a daunting challenge you have set yourself. Or perhaps in the form of assistance with technical projects or those that require more upper body strength than you possess.

As long as both partners are acting with good will and exchanging rather than exhausting their sexual energy, both will come out ahead. That is the magic of synergy. Ideally, their sole goal is to care selflessly for each other.

Also of possible interest:

Yin’s deeper mystery