Karezza: Flips all we’ve been taught and eliminates anxiety
Potent tool for couples in long-term relationships.
Forget about replicating hot love scenes in movies, and it’s no heavy breathing exercise either. Think pillow talk, imagine staring into one another’s eyes, sweet nothings and somethings. Put quickies, games and everything else you’ve learnt about sex aside.
Less wham bam and more extended play, Karezza is the slow food movement of sex.
When you practise this simple method, there’s no performance anxiety, no worrying about whether anyone finished first, last or at all.
“It flips everything we’ve been taught about sex on its head,” said Lisa Welsh, founder of relationship and sex advice site Save That Spark.
“We’re conditioned to see orgasm as ultimate goal, but what if the magic is in not chasing it?”
The practice places a connection between partners over climax, love over raw lust and sensation over stimulation.
Practitioners of Karezza swear by its emotional, physical and even spiritual benefits.
It is about gentle, affectionate sexual connection and only sometimes involving intercourse, many times not.
The goal is intimacy. It borrowed its name from the Italian word carezza, meaning caress.
“It’s the antithesis of everything click bait and popular culture has taught us about bedroom antics,” said Welsh.
“Think of Karezza as a slow, sensual dance instead of a sprint to the finish line,” she said.
It’s especially powerful for anyone who struggles with performance anxiety because it shifts the focus from doing to simply being. It’s a space to enjoy each other in the moment.”
This includes spending long periods eye-gazing, spooning or just lying with skin touching. Some might call it boring, she said, while others say it’s absolute bliss.
“Your body craves connection just as much as it craves release,” said Welsh. “The oxytocin you get from Karezza, like the soft touch, the eye contact, the stillness, can be far more nourishing than the temporary highs of a quickie.”…
… If you move into intercourse, treat it like a mindful event, together and not a mission to the finish line.
“Keep things slow and tender. If either of you edges towards climax, don’t panic. Just pause, soften your movements, breathe, and reconnect. It’s about being somewhere together.”
[Note: the author, or possibly his editor, backed away from the no-orgasm aspect of karezza (Synergy). But it’s still good to see the media covering it.]
